The Selfish Crybaby I Am...

I learned a lesson from God today through my son. I guess you could say that God threw a real "zinger" at me and it hit me right between the eyes.

This morning, my wife had to go to the Doctor because she was having pain in her abdomen. Not a big deal normally, but she is 5 months pregnant! So, she goes and calls me to tell me she is not allowed to go back to work and has to get blood drawn. I quickly finished up what I was working on and took off from work. I had to go pick up my son at his preschool and take him to meet up with my wife. I got to school 30 minutes before it normally lets out, and at the exact same moment the class was lining up to go out and play on the playground. Will was excited to see me and greeted me with a big hug. I told him we had to leave because Mommy was sick. And that's when it began...

After telling him we had to go, he started crying and saying that he wanted to play on the playground. I told him no, and followed it up with an apology and an explanation that we didn't have time because we had to get to where his mom was at. This wasn't good enough for him and his cries became louder and louder with objections such as, "Everyone else gets to play on the playground," and my personal least-favorite, "It's not fair!".

I remained calm though, and told him that playing could wait because his mom's and the baby's health was a lot more important. This didn't help the situation, and he continued to cry. I told him that he needed to see the big picture and listen to me, but this was to no avail. After all, he is only 4 years old and playing is his passion. When I had finally heard enough, I simply said to him, "I am not talking to you until you stop crying and get ahold of yourself. Then I'll tell you why we have to go." His cries continued for a moment, but when he realized that I was ignoring him, he settled down with a few muffled sniffs.

It was in this "quiet" that God spoke to my heart and told me,

"This is how you act towards me when I try to get you to do my will and you want to do what your selfish Self wants to do you big crybaby!"

Wow! What a kick in the hindquarters this was as I'm driving down the highway with a four year old sobbing in the car seat next me.

After a little while, I asked him if he loved Mommy and baby Rylan (that's in her belly). He told me he did very much. That was when I explained to him how it's scary to us when she feels bad and we are afraid for the baby. He seemed to understand this and his tears dried up. And better yet, when he got to his Mom, he gave her a big hug and asked how Rylan was doing.

So, now I know how God feels when he tells us to do something and we refuse. What he sees is a grown up crying and stomping around like a four year old denied his playground privileges. The scariest thing is when He decides to stop speaking to us until we come to our senses. My prayer today is not only for the health of my wife and unborn son, but also for my own spiritual ears to be perked up and my Self to be crucified so that I won't be such the "crybaby"...