Living Vicariously Through Our Kids: Divorce

Over the past few decades, there have been countless studies and surveys performed to determine the divorce rate in our population. Some of these studies claim that greater than 50% of all marriages ultimately end in divorce. This is a shocking statistic when you think that half of all the marriages that you see in the Wedding Section of the Sunday paper will end at the hand of some lawyers, a judge, and an ink stamp. But let’s step back a moment and think about this while we ask ourselves the obvious question: What’s the problem?

It’s pretty obvious that we have a problem of some sort with marriage in this country by the great amount of media attention it has received lately. But, even before the media latched on, there was a vast amount of time and energy already invested in the study of divorce that laid a firm foundation for today’s attention. But are these studies, the books written, and the statistics generated something other than a way to point out that marriage is doomed? If so, who’s pointing the finger? I have to believe that when you scrape away all of the studies and the so called “experts” that trivialize, denigrate, and give a black eye to the Holy institution of marriage; you will find that all of it is simply a smoke screen of the Enemy. I believe that there is no problem with the institution of marriage, the problem is emanating from something more subdued and behind the scenes so to speak. It is coming from so far behind the scenes, that it’s located in the pits of Hell and it is dead set on dividing what God has joined together.

Think about this statement: There is no problem with marriage, but rather there is an outright attack against God that has been going on since He created man. He is the one that invented marriage at the beginning of mankind in the Garden of Eden. He saw that it was good, and essential for the survival of His children on earth. He also saw that it is essential for the survival of His children for eternity because He uses it as a metaphor to represent Christ and His bride, the Church. But, as in every other thing that is Holy, the enemy (Satan) is on the move. Satan has been working diligently to disrupt the infrastructure of Christianity by attacking marriages because they are so near and dear to God’s heart. And if it is true that 50% of all marriages fail, Satan’s plan is working.

The most recent debates over the sanctity of marriage are much more than a “Political Thing”. They are actually, a “Spirit Thing” that must be tended to swiftly and precisely. Of course, I am talking about the banning of homosexual unions, but that is only a small part of this entire argument. The greatest problem facing the future of marriages is maintenance of the marriages of people that are currently under attack and going through tough times. An obvious flag that goes up to signify a marriage is in defeat is when you hear a statement such as: “We’re (or They’re) staying together for the sake of the children”. I’ve heard this said so many times that I want to vomit. If only people would realize that this is one of the most anti-God statements that anyone could ever utter! This is because God intended man and woman to join together in marriage not just physically but also spiritually with each other! When a man and woman marry, they become one flesh and this joining can only be described as a “God Thing” and a “Great Mystery” because our finite human brains cannot fathom how deep this subject really is. It’s deep, it’s real, and it is God’s invention for His children to enjoy.

So when someone says they are staying together for the sake of the children, what they are really saying is that they cannot stand half of themselves (their spouse) and are finding their fulfillment in the marriage through their kids. If they do not have children then they find fulfillment in any number of other things, instead of in their spouse, but that’s another chapter. How contrary this is to God’s desire for marriage. God intends us to be united in marriage in which we become one. As I mentioned previously, the children that this Holy union produces are a physical representation of two becoming one. And that is it! Your kids are not there for you to worship, be fulfilled by, or to take the place of your spouse. They are a representation of the union that God set up for you and your spouse to enjoy one another and in return, glorify Him by giving birth to others to do the same.