Today's post is a rant because I had one of my hot buttons pushed the other night at church. We recently started reaching out to men in our church to get into men's study groups in order to build relationships and bands of brothers. I've found it vital to my survival to have other men watching my back. As I've mentioned before, my band of brothers pray for and with each other but it is deeper than that. We are a small but powerful army of warriors that engages the enemy and takes care of each other's needs. I am passionate about seeing men come together and come alive!
One of my brothers recently approached a man at church that's been going through an extremely difficult time in his life. My brother asked him to attend one of the groups if anything for solidarity with other men that will help fight for him. The man in question told him he couldn't because he had to help out with a kids group. I've had similar situations when asking men to come to our men's group and have been turned down because of other ministry commitments. Now, all ministry groups need help, and many are understaffed, but is there no one out there that can fill in for you? Is there any rest for the weary? Or, are you hiding out? I'm starting to come to the realization that men like to hide out in other ministrys of the church. Think about it, it's safe there! You don't have to bear your soul nor do you have to be vulnerable when you are just helping out. I know I'll get some flak from this post but that's ok I love constructive criticism. I also understand that everyone is called to their area of ministry where their fruits can be used. But I also know in my heart that everyone needs to be fed from time to time.
Men, if you are guilty of hiding out, it's time to stop it and get real. You need your brothers! It's time for men to come together and join each other in this battle we are in! Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.
4 COMMENTS...:
In my experience, there usually aren't ENOUGH people willing to "help out". However, I do see your point. If this meeting with the band of brothers is going to take him away only once, then find a substitute. Maybe one of the others in the band could fill in one week so this man could be ministered to. I don't think the youth should be left to the woment. They need a good male role model and influence. If your meeting interferes every week, maybe you could change to another night so that he could be involved.
When my husband talks about inviting people to church he says to remove all their excuses. "Don't have a ride? I'll pick you up!"
I agree Libby, men are desperately needed in all areas of ministry. The hardest thing for me to stomach is when certain men are always using it as an excuse. Don't get me wrong, I was a youth counselor for a couple years and it is vital for male role models to be with the kids. It's just that I am starting to realize that some men are afraid to share what's really on there hearts and develop relationships with other men. In other words they are taking the easy way out. For instance I know of a few men in a certain church that do nothing but sit in the breezeway during services. I may be sounding self righteous and finger pointing but it's just what I have observed. I have this overwhelming passion for men to come together and pray together and fight for their families. I know I can't get everybody, but you have to start somewhere.
I would guess that men are not going to come to these things so that they can bare their souls and 'share'. To most men, that is 'girl stuff'. I think you need to appeal to the 'manly side' to get these guys to enter in and then when the relationship are built then the 'sharing' will happen.
With men the relationship are built during the times when you have to 'lock arms' to stand. When in the heat of battle a man cracks and his friend pulls him back together.
It is a lot easier to manufacture the emotional moments that bond women than for men. I think the only real way to build a bond between men is to do something together or go through something together. Women can just talk about something and be bonded together.
I would say keep trying to pursue these men to enter in but do not nag them. If you nag them they will just shut you off like they would if you were their wife nagging.
I hope this does not upset any women out there but this is just how most men operate.
No offense here!
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